Sleeping Arrangements

Sleeping Arrangements
Originally uploaded by Foodmomiac

I've had pretty bad lower back pain for the past month or two, and while I'm sure I could alleviate SOME of it with some smart living (yoga, better posture), the major cause of my back pain is not me. It's my kids.

The picture above is basically representative of the way I am forced to sleep every night. Actually, scratch that. It's slightly inaccurate, because usually there is a child's limb on my head or back or stomach.

Dylan has long been a guest in our bed, and honestly, I don't mind it too much. If she gets too gropey or encroaches too much onto my space, I can easily move her over to Michael's side without awakening her.

Max is the (very cute and cuddly) problem. He has only recently started wandering into our room at night, and he does so with maximum disruption. As he leaves his room, he slams his door closed. Then, he pads into our room, climbs up into my bed and over me (because the one time he slept on the outside, he went tumbling off at 4am and banged his head), and then commences to have really long, one-sided conversations with me. All in the world's loudest whisper. "Hi Mom. Is it morning yet? Can I watch Caillou? No? Can I watch a movie? I'm thirsty. Cuddle me mom. Put your arm around me mom. I have to go pee. Need your help to go pee mom, OK?"

I am so, so tired (and sore) this morning. I believe he whispered to me for an hour straight at about 4am. I know the solution is to walk him back in his room when he first comes in, but, ugh, that opens a whole new set of disruptions (crying, waking up his sister).

Comments

[mamacita]

We had to start locking our bedroom door. Not all night; just until we went to bed. There was crying for a few days, but it finally stopped. Our problem was when they got out of bed right after being put down, though -- we don't have as much problem with night visitors.

[Lauren]

I'm so sorry. Julian comes in to bed with us every night, sleeps next to me on the side of the bed, then pushes me toward the middle all night long. Most nights are pretty good, though, and I don't even wake up when he comes in. Some nights he demands to share my pillow/cuddle all night/ warm his toes on me/etc. So I feel your pain (deftly illustrated by the frowney face in your drawing).

On the occasional nights when Jamie comes in too, she goes between me and hubby, so I'm squished between the two kids. Somehow Julian always has oodles of space on his side. And I never get out of bed to put them back either.

Someday they won't want to come in to cuddle (right?!).

[jill]

Oh, Danielle. The one-sided conversations, as frustrating as they may be, are so freaking cute. Seriously cute. Darwin does the same thing. And although you're not seeking out solutions, I vote for cool sleeping bags on the floor for the kiddos! Good luck.

[Steph T]

My friend's solution to this problem was to put a sleeping bag next to the bed. The kids are allowed to come in and lay on the sleeping bag, but they are not allowed to wake mom or dad up unless they are sick. It seems to work for them and she gets to sleep without little feet in her back.

[chris]

That looks like my bed too.

One night last week my daughter and I were both yelling at my son. Fun times at 4am, yo!

Finally I just kept putting him back where he belongs, and I am ashamed to say it, but where he belongs is a crib mattress on the floor near my bed. So far this week has been a good week. Knock on wood.

[Jennifer S.]

I have a fantastic book you should read - Beyond Time Out by Beth A. Grosshans. While it's mostly about how to correct your child's inappropriate actions, it has some good information on sleeping in it. According to Grosshans, the sleeping issue is one of the many ways that children try to gain power over their parents and it's up to the parents to see that and act accordingly. There are also other wonderful tips on how parents can sustain the family "power" with young children who act out.

I have a three year old daughter who has not been a good sleeper - she didn't sleep through the night until 2, loved to come into our bedroom (then would either whisper to me, kick me or fall asleep sideways). Therefore, I never got good rest after she came into our bed. My experience has been that co-sleeping, and especially as they get older, isn't good for anyone. So, for the past maybe 9 months there has been no discussion - she is not allowed to sleep in our bed and I matter of factly tell her that (with no emotion). (Only exception may be if she is really sick and needs TLC.) I take her back to her bed when she asks and explain that we all have our own beds and to get a good rest we need to be in them (in the beginning she cried or whined a little - not a lot! - and now when I take her back she just walks right back to bed willingly and goes right to sleep). Believe me, it has been better for ALL of us. We are all sleeping soundly in our own beds.

Good luck.

[Melissa]

No kids in our house, but we do have a cat that comes in every morning at 5am and starts pawing at and EATING my hair. No joke. After a half hour of this, the hubs gets out of bed and takes her with him to the couch, closing the bedroom door behind him, and we all get another hour's sleep. Ridiculous.

[kyoot]

Oh but all those cuddles.... :) I know I know...

[Lindsay Lebresco (Graco)]

This is too cute! I love the sleeping arrangement picture- looks very familiar (though it sounds like my nights like this don't happen as often as they happen at your house) When they do, I have the same loud whisperer (scratch that- kids have NO IDEA how to whisper) and my son is also a little lovey. I don't always get banged in the head with an arm- I'm more luckily draped with a wet (from being sucked on all night), stinky blanket.

[Tia]

LOL! So cute.. Although, it's always my hubby that ends up smushed on the side of the bed. Between baby & i, he gets no room. =]

[Tiffany]

Oh, I sooo relate!!! My almost 2.5 year old races across the hall and climbs over me each night. He lays between my husband and I, and usually twirls or yanks on my hair. He sometimes yells out random words like"car!" or "choo choo train" at three in the morning. *sigh*

But those morning snuggles? Wouldn't trade them for the world :-)

[hair bows]

I know how you feel... These moments can be tiresome but you can never bring them back when the kids grow. Maybe you can make a schedule on when they can sleep with you. So you can rest sometimes. =)